I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
