is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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