every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
