I would go down on you faster than GM stock
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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