I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
