That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
