I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
