YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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