Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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