Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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