You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
