Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
