GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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