I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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