You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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