hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
