Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
