Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Randomize
