I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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