You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
