I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
