maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
