Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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