so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I did not marry a roomba.
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