well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you told grandpa to call you daddy
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Randomize
