Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
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