Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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