He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
there is puke in my bra ... again
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
