i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
