Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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