sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
