Please, let me fuck your mom
hell yes lets make some ravioli
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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