tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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