I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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