I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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