We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
