So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
