I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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