I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
