is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Randomize
