Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
