***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
