He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
