That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
