I am in a vortex of obligation.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
