addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
