he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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