Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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