She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
