i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
