Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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