Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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